Two decades ago, I was a young teenager. I was slowly becoming aware of my sexuality. As that happened, the attraction and desire I was experiencing were consistently for other guys rather than for girls. I was also already a Christian – I’d chosen to become a follower of Jesus at age five and that was a decision I was still committed to in my early teens.

At first, I didn’t really understand what was going on, so I largely ignored my sexuality, but as I journeyed through my teen years, I realised this experience wasn’t going away and that I was going to have to face up to it. As I did, I had questions. Lots of questions. Where were these desires coming from? What did Jesus think of me in the midst of them? What would other people think of me? What should I do? Can I even be a Christian if I’m attracted to other guys?

Humanly speaking, I feel like the odds were stacked against me. But God was good to me.

Asking these questions was made harder by the fact that Christians weren’t really talking about same-sex sexuality. On the rare occasions I heard Christians mention gay people, it was either as the butt of a joke or as people ‘out there’ in the world. No one seemed to imagine that some of us might be ‘in here’, in the Church.

Humanly speaking, I feel like the odds were stacked against me. But God was good to me. I managed to open up to a small handful of people. They helped me explore my big questions. They gave me space, allowing me to express my fears and feelings and to consider what the teaching of Jesus meant for me. Having that support and that space helped me to understand, accept and embrace the Bible’s good news on sexuality and to see how I could follow Jesus even as a guy who is attracted to guys.

Sadly, I know others whose stories don’t end so happily. People I grew up with who felt there was no place for them in the Church because of their experience of sexuality and who turned their back on Jesus believing it wasn’t possible for them to follow him.

A driving force

My experience, and the experiences of others I grew up with, have been one of the big driving forces for me as we have spent the last year producing Kaleidoscope, a video-based series for youth groups. I want young people like me to have the space to explore their big questions, to see that Jesus has good news for them and that they can follow him. I want them to know that there is a place for them ‘in here’, in the Church, and that they don’t have to be driven ‘out there’, into the world apart from Jesus.

But it’s not just those young people we’ve had in mind as we’ve been producing Kaleidoscope.

We’ve been thinking about the many and varied experiences among young people in churches today.

We’ve also had in mind young people – whether opposite or same-sex attracted – who have been sold the lie that the biblical sexual ethic is harmful and oppressive. We want to give them the space to explore biblical teaching and to see how it is good for them and others.

We’ve had in mind the Christian teenagers who are wondering how best to love their gay or trans-identifying friends. And we’ve had in mind those who know what it is to face opposition for following Jesus and to be accused of being homophobic or transphobic.

We’ve been thinking about the young person who feels deep discomfort about their body and wishes they’d been born the other sex, and those who believe they are a boy in a girl’s body or a girl in a boy’s.

We’ve been thinking about the non-Christian teenagers who come along to church youth groups and want to follow Jesus but can’t get over the barrier of what he says about sex and gender.

We’ve been thinking about the many and varied experiences among young people in churches today, the many and varied experiences that will be represented in your church too.

All of this has shaped Kaleidoscope. Across the six episodes of the series, we present the core elements of Christian teaching on sexuality and gender. We use story videos to connect with real-life experiences and panel discussions to model how we can discuss and explore big questions. And, perhaps most importantly, we’ve created space and offered questions to get conversations going in youth groups, providing the sort of space I needed to explore my big questions when I was a teenager.

This is why I think your church youth group needs Kaleidoscope. The experiences and questions of the young people in your church might not be exactly like mine, but I can guarantee that the young people in your church have big questions about sexuality and gender. Kaleidoscope is for them.

Find out more about Kaleidoscope and sign up to be notified when the series is available by heading to the Kaleidoscope page.