Last year I was interviewed for the Living Out podcast as part of the ‘Meet the Author’ series. The podcast went live recently, and as I listened to it, it dawned on me how kind God was to give me a Christ-like friend to confide in about my sexuality. I was scared he would judge me and reject me; instead, he offered me words of love and deep gospel truth – the very thing I needed.

I am grateful to God for my friend because I realise that many other Christians would have reacted in vastly different ways. Some would have given me cold truth, while others only empty love.

Cold truth or empty love

Remember to speak truth in love. Remember to give them Jesus.

Some Christians think that same-sex attracted people just need to hear the truth, no matter how it is presented or in what tone it is declared, and then everything will be fine. But this form of truth proclamation is sort of like a cold shower. It does the job, but the experience is so horrendous that you never want to go through it again.

But then on the other end of the spectrum, you have Christians who put an arm around your shoulder and listen to your story, but they refuse to tell you, either out of ignorance or cruelty, the truth contained in God’s word. This form of love is empty. It is like offering someone a lit match when their whole heating system has just gone down. It is kind, but pointless.

Give them Jesus

What same-sex attracted people need is truth and love. We need to hear what God has to say and we need to hear it in such a way that demonstrates God’s great love for us. In short, what we need is Jesus. We need to be told his message of repentance and faith, and we need to be told about it in the manner he himself would have delivered it.

So, when a friend confides in you about their same-sex attraction. Remember to speak truth in love. Remember to give them Jesus.