Ben Dyer, Applying The Handbrake: A Teenage Boy's Honest Account About God And Porn (Naked Truth Resources, 2018)

The statistics on pornography use amongst teenage boys are sky-high! Part of the problem is that it is a secret and hidden sin, at least from trusted adults. On top of this, it is so easily accessible in the privacy of bathrooms and bedrooms as well as being encouraged by the world. Porn usage is not obvious in the way, say, gossip is.

What has been needed for some time is an honest account of that struggle that might resonate with teenagers and give them some steps to begin the healing process. In many ways, this book is a great step towards this, and I can see that it might begin to open the way to conversations, honesty, accountability and openness between teenage boys as well as with parents and youth workers. I would have no hesitation recommending this book as it is only going to open the conversation and point the reader to Jesus.

I would have no hesitation recommending this book as it is only going to open the conversation and point the reader to Jesus.

Ben Dyer writes engagingly and entertainingly about his struggle as a teenager, what he would have loved to have been told about pornography and masturbation, and what he thinks might have helped him. In eight short, well-written chapters, he unpacks his experiences and points in Scripture to the new identity which helps us to say ‘no’ to sin. There are points which are graphic, possibly not in a good way, and almost feel as if they may edge on boasting and perhaps glorifying certain acts, although he certainly does not mean to do that.

I did ask a young man to read it and tell me what he thought. His comment was that this was more help than the sex ed classes in school which have always been awkward and useless. He appreciated it and it meant that we could have quite an honest chat about the subject. As we chatted, we felt there was a difficult balance between not being weighed down by guilt, but also not saying that this is OK. This is always going to be a difficult balance – a sense of guilt can drive us to grace but the repetitive nature of porn use can mean that guilt can be overwhelming. As discussion continued, we felt there are other Bible verses which may have been more useful, although this is always a subjective issue.

And therein lies one of the issues with this book – a personal account is great when it resonates but can be limited in its use if it does not. I immediately thought of a young man who is same-sex attracted for whom this book probably would not be useful. In this way, its greatest strength can become a weakness.

I had a couple of other minor gripes: first, the title suggests that this is a teenage boy’s account, whereas it’s actually written by a grown man looking back at his teenage years. This was a little disappointing. That probably sounds petty but one of the overwhelming messages for the boy I chatted with was, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll get easier as you get older.’ This was not reassuring for someone in the heat of the battle and felt a little patronizing: you’ll grow out of it! I am sure this is not what was meant, but this is how it was heard.

This is a much-needed book, and I would advise buying in bulk and giving it out to every boy in the youth group.

Second, I wonder about the use of a book format to help with a visual and online issue like this. It seems strange in a book review to criticize a book for being a book, but there it is. Would an online resource like a series of shorts have been more effective? The advantage of a physical book is that a youth worker or parent can put it in the hands of an individual, but there is always the danger of walking around with a book advertising this subject! I still remember the jokes as a student regarding who was going to buy the luminous yellow book with the large word ‘SEX’ on the cover. This is where the opaqueness of the title ‘Applying the Handbrake’ is good – it does not advertise its content except to the initiated.

All in, this is a much-needed book, and I would advise buying in bulk and giving it out to every boy in the youth group just to open the conversation well. The statistics suggest that there are few who are unaffected by this problem, and this book may help begin a difficult conversation and encourage them that they are not the only ones!