Here at Living Out, we sometimes talk about the types of people we are most seeking to serve. Often at the top of the list is the Christian teenager who is realising they are attracted to people of the same sex, hasn’t told anyone, and is sitting in their bedroom in emotional turmoil over what this means for their life and their faith. We want to show them that there is a path they can walk and there are others on that path.
I felt like there was no path for me to follow – what would it look like for me to faithfully follow Jesus?
I was that teenager about 15 years ago. At that point, there was no Living Out. Our friends over at True Freedom Trust had been going for a few decades, but I didn’t know that at the time. There was little help for me to turn to. I remember I had a few books that had a couple of pages on homosexuality, and I would secretly read them in my room. I also remember going to the local Christian bookshop and buying a little booklet on the topic – my heart beating in my chest as I took it to the till. The whole thing was an isolating experience. I felt like there was no path for me to follow – what would it look like for me to faithfully follow Jesus?
But then I began to find some stories of people like me. I got hold of a copy of Alex Tylee’s Walking With Gay Friends. In that book, Alex shared her story and each chapter started with a paragraph of testimony from another gay Christian. Those tiny snippets of story were life-changing – there were people like me, who love Jesus and are same-sex attracted. Those stories showed that following Jesus is possible for people like me – there is a path. I clung to those stories.
In 2010, Wesley Hill published his autobiographical book, Washed and Waiting. This was the most substantial of the stories of gay Christians I’d come across. Reading it was a profound experience. I remember on page after page a sense of being seen – there was so much of what Wes described that I could relate to. The path was becoming clearer and there were other people on it too.
By the time Living Out launched in late November 2013, I was in my final year at uni. I still remember being at my desk, hearing about Living Out through Twitter and visiting the website. Here were stories of more people like me, and here were videos and accessible articles answering the questions I had been wrestling with for years. I was in awe of the courageous people who were so publicly sharing their stories and who wanted Christians to better support people like me. I am still so grateful for those who were the first to go public for the sake of others. They added to my understanding of the path of faithfully following Jesus as someone who is same-sex attracted.
Little did I know at that point that I too would go public just a year and a bit later. Would I have done that if Living Out hadn’t already been out there helping the conversation on sexuality in the Church? Who knows. I imagine possibly not.
Looking back over the past 15 years, it’s incredible to think how much things have changed.
Looking back over the past 15 years since I was that scared teenager in my bedroom, it’s incredible to think how much things have changed. If I were that teenager today, I think my experience would have been very different. Not easy, perhaps, but definitely better. Those who want to can now find others walking the path of following Jesus while experiencing same-sex attraction. There’s a map, a guidebook and experienced guides.
Living Out isn’t the only reason for this change – there are many people and many organisations that have played their part in helping people like me to see that faithfulness to Jesus is possible, and more than possible, that it is good for us.
As we reflect on 10 years of Living Out, I am full of thankfulness and full of hope. Thankful to those who were behind its inception, to those who have supported through prayer, finance and publicity, and to those who’ve played their part in all that’s been accomplished over the past decade. I’m also full of hope. Yes, there will be challenges ahead; some of those we’re already well aware of, others we’re yet to know about. But the situation for Christians like me is radically different today than it was even a decade ago. We no longer have to try and hunt in the dark for the path of faithfulness. Others have gone before us, and they have shared their stories so that we can imitate them as they imitate Christ.
But most of all, as I look back on the last decade, I’m thankful to God and full of hope because I know he will continue to seek and save same-sex attracted people like me, and I know that through the work of his Son and the indwelling of his Spirit he will help us to keep going on the life-giving path of denying ourselves and following him.
As we celebrate our 10th anniversary, we’re looking for 500 people to join our £10 Club – committing to giving us £10 (or $10) a month to enable us to continue helping same-sex attracted Christians to walk the path of faithfulness to Jesus. Find out more and sign up to give here.