We often talk about language, a word or phrase, being loaded – having more power or significance because of how it’s been used in the past.
The words ‘Your identity is in Christ!’ are a great example of that for Christians like me because of the different contexts in which they are used – sometimes, by others, to attack me; at other times, by myself, in self-defence.
A weapon
They will often be used as a weapon to silence me whenever I speak of myself as a gay or same-sex attracted Christian. ‘Your identity is in Christ!’ is the immediate response of some fellow Christians – don’t define yourself in terms of your sexuality but in the light of who you are in Christ!
At one level, I could not agree with them more. What is most precious and central to who I am, is who I am in Christ – a dearly loved son of God, Jesus’s brother, a temple of the Holy Spirit.
And yet I am also some other things too: a son, a brother, an uncle, a godfather, a friend, a pastor, an evangelical, an Anglican. I’m English, a historian, a politics geek, a Tolkien and Lewis fan – and a gay or same-sex attracted man. All these are part of who I am, and to get to know me properly it’s going to help you to hear that each of these are true of me, and have been important in making me who I am today. I’ve been shaped by each of them for both good and ill.
To take just two examples from that list: being English is a part of my identity that has both good aspects and negative ones. I, positively, have the usual English stereotypical sense of fair play, alongside the more negative English sense of superiority. Being gay or same-sex attracted gives me a stereotypical appreciation of beauty in many forms, which often feels like a gift, alongside my destructive and sinful desires for a sexual relationship with a certain type of beautiful man.
My identity is in Christ, and that obviously needs to be the core reality shaping how I think, act and speak. But that does not extinguish the other aspects of me that are part of who God has shaped me to be and which have each been taken and used by him to help me serve him. Our God is willing and able to take both good and ill and use them to fulfil his plans and purposes – he has done that with my nationality and sexuality, alongside my core spiritual identity in him. Things are not quite as simple as: ‘Your identity is in Christ!’.
A shield
And yet there are times when I enthusiastically and unambiguously embrace these words. When I use them, in effect, as a shield in self-defence.
We live in a society in which many want to make my sexuality, the fact that I am same-sex attracted or gay, the most precious and central part of who I am. It should, to them, be the thing that shapes my life choices, my sex life, my relationships, more than my religious beliefs. Who I am in Christ – a dearly loved son of God, Jesus’s brother, a temple of the Holy Spirit – are not factors that should be determining who I sleep with; it’s my sexual desires that should get to call the shots on that. My sexuality trumps my Christianity to the extent that what Christians have always believed needs to change to allow me to do what I want to do: ‘Your identity is in your sexuality’, is what many around me insist. They say that I need to be allowed to be who I am, which means me getting to have sex with a certain type of beautiful man. Not doing so is dangerously repressing the real me, which is all about my sexual desires and feelings.
That’s when I internally deploy the phrase ‘Your identity is in Christ!’ as a spiritual shield, in self-defence. I speak these words to myself to remember the counter-cultural reality that as a Christian I have an identity that has been given to me by God, that is not driven by my desires and feelings, but rests on his desires and feelings for me in Christ. It is such a comfort to raise this shield when I am being persuaded to try and find my identity in my sexuality – instead my true identity is in having been found by him.
Ed reflects more on this language with US friends in a recent episode of the Life on Side B Podcast.
