It seems that courses on marriage for people preparing for their wedding or at various stages of their life together are two a penny.1 But until now, I’d never heard of a course on singleness. In Church culture, we rightly value marriage and encourage each other to invest time and effort in our relationships with our spouses. However, it strikes me as really sad that we don’t do nearly enough teaching, encouraging and equipping when it comes to singleness.
Forty per cent of adults in the UK are single,2 yet ‘married people are significantly over-represented in Church compared to the general population.’3 ‘While 47 per cent of GB adults are married, married people make up 60 per cent of those who regularly attend church at least once a month.’4 This has huge ramifications for gospel outreach and discipleship. If singleness isn’t valued in Church and single people are marginalised, it will be very hard for them to stay.
If singleness isn’t valued in Church and single people are marginalised, it will be very hard for them to stay.
That’s why I’m really pleased that Eleanor Jeans has launched the Securely Single course, aimed at helping single Christians feel confident in their identity in Christ and their place in his family.
Although the course can be completed as an individual, it would be much more effective run as a group. Over five weeks, the themes of identity, singleness as a gift, celibacy, intimacy, and friendship are explored in a thoroughly biblical way. There’s a great integration of video with Bible study and group work and the leaders’ notes are detailed and really well presented.
I like the way that Eleanor encourages honesty within the group and asks plenty of questions that help people to explore their own experiences of singleness, such as, ‘What words and phrases do you find difficult when it comes to being single?’, and ‘In twos or threes, discuss what comes to mind when you think about celibacy.’
Another thing I really like is that it includes single people in different situations, including never married, divorced and widowed. There are no assumptions about how people might be experiencing singleness and Eleanor acknowledges that some might feel unhappy about it while others feel pretty content.
It’s also great to see some resources from the Living Out team being used, including The Plausibility Problem by Ed Shaw and The Only Way is Ethics – Sexual Singleness by Sean Doherty.
The cultural references in the talks tend to be quite old – Miranda, About A Boy, Father Ted, Friends, Sex In The City, The 40-Year-Old Virgin – and so the course is most likely to appeal to ages 35+. It’s also probably likely to resonate more with women, especially as it’s presented by a woman and there are no other people represented in the videos (except for a male voice reading out scriptures occasionally).
Overall, this is a really worthwhile course and I hope that lots of churches run it. I also hope that it’s not just single people who attend, as church leaders and married people need to hear much of this material. The Single Friendly Church website is also a great resource to help churches include and value single people.
The course is available at the Securely Single website.
- Here are just a few examples: A Day Together; The Marriage Course; The Marriage Sessions; Time For Marriage; Marriage As God Intended. Accessed 19 December 2022.
- Single Friendly Church. Accessed 19 December 2022.
- ‘Numbers in Church’, Single Friendly Church. Accessed 19 December 2022.
- ‘Numbers in Church’, Single Friendly Church. Accessed 19 December 2022.
