Tomorrow sees the start of Bisexual Awareness Week, an initiative that seeks to raise awareness of bisexuality – an enduring pattern of attraction towards both the same and the opposite sex. Bisexuality is an experience that has often been overlooked and ignored, but I think it’s important that Christians and churches grow in our understanding of it.
Why do we need more awareness and understanding?
One of the big reasons we need an increased awareness and understanding of bisexuality is because of how common it is for younger people to identify as bisexual. The 2023 ONS Annual Population Survey found that among 16- to 24-year-olds in the UK, over 1 in 10 identified as LGB. Only 3% identified as gay or lesbian. Far more common was identification as bisexual. In the 16-24 age group, 7.5% identified as bisexual (up from 2.8% in 2018), and among women in that group, 9.2% identified as bisexual.1 That means if you have a group of 10 young adult women, chances are at least one of them identifies as bisexual.
What are the reasons for this rise in young people identifying as bisexual? It’s hard to know for sure, and chances are there are various factors at play. Greater awareness of the possibility of experiencing bisexual attractions and greater freedom to talk about that is probably one reason. Exposure to pornography could also be a factor. And in some cases, it may be an expression of young people’s distaste for what they might see as the restrictive nature of binary categories.
There is a missional – as well as a pastoral – need for the church to get a better understanding of bisexuality.
Whatever the reasons, as Christians, we long to see all people, including young people, become followers of Jesus and find fullness of life by living out God’s good ways in all areas of their lives. We also seem to be in a time when there is a growing openness to and interest in Christianity among young people. If we want to help those young people to receive and live out God’s good plan on sexuality, we need to be aware of the experiences many are reporting and the way they are currently viewing themselves. There is a missional – as well as a pastoral – need for the church to get a better understanding of bisexuality.
I also think we shouldn’t be surprised by the growing number of people identifying as bisexual, and I suspect the trend will continue. We shouldn’t be surprised because people experiencing bisexual attractions is understandable within the Christian worldview. We know that adult humans are designed by God to be sexual beings. Sexuality is a good part of his creation. We also know that following the Fall, every part of every one of us has been impacted by sin. That includes all of our sexualities, and it means all of us experience sexual desires that fall outside of God’s plan and intention.
As it happens, many of us find that these good but broken desires are fairly consistently for people of the opposite or the same sex, but that’s just because they are commonly occurring experiences of sexuality, not because there are two fundamentally different types of people – gay and straight. That’s why when we use those terms like ‘gay’ or ‘straight’ here at Living Out, we are just trying to describe recurring experiences, not making a declaration about core identity.2 With this understanding of sexuality, it should be no surprise to us that some people will experience sexual desires towards both men and women. It’s just another outworking of the reality that all our sexualities are good but broken.
What do we need to understand?
I’m aware I’ve still got a long way to go in understanding what life is like for those who experience bisexual attractions, what challenges they face, and how we can best help them to receive and live out God’s good news on sexuality. The various factors that may lead someone to identify as bisexual also require some reflection. But as a starting point, here are a few things I’ve learnt and have been reflecting upon.
We need to talk about bisexuality
Over the last decade or so, many churches have become better at talking about sexuality. (If your church hasn’t yet taken that step, here’s something to challenge you!) We’ve recognised that sexuality is part of being an adult human for the vast majority of people, that God has good news when it comes to sexuality, but also that sexuality can be an area of struggle, temptation and pain.
This has all been good progress, but I think as we’ve done this, we (often including us here at Living Out) have tended to assume that sexuality is binary – that people experience either opposite-sex attraction or same-sex attraction. But for many people, that’s not true. A simple first step we can take is to get better at acknowledging bisexuality when we talk about sexuality.
We need to tackle misunderstandings
People often have misunderstandings about bisexuality. Some assume that anyone who describes themself as bisexual is actually same-sex attracted but in denial. Others dismiss the experience, asking why someone can’t just ignore their same-sex attractions and focus on their opposite-sex attractions. People might also misunderstand what it means for someone to experience bisexual attractions and assume it means being constantly attracted to everyone you meet.
We need to hear the stories of those who experience bisexual attractions.
All of these are inaccurate and unfair misunderstandings. We need to hear the stories of those who experience bisexual attractions to dispel our wrong ideas and assumptions, to get a better understanding, so that we can be better equipped to love and support.
We need to recognise the challenges
Whatever our experience of sexual desire, as good but broken humans, sexuality brings challenges. That is just as true for those who experience bisexual temptations as it is for all of us. Some of those challenges will be similar to those experienced by others; some will be more unique.
To mention just one challenge I know I’ve often overlooked: bisexual attractions can make friendship a little more complicated. For those of us who find our sexual desires are fairly consistently for one sex or the other, we can have friendships where it feels like the potential complications of sexual attraction aren’t too much of an issue. Obviously, we always want to be wise, and we certainly want to be thinking about any potential complications our friend might feel and not just be focussed on ourselves, but I’ve definitely found that my same-sex attraction has made it easier for me to develop deep, safe, God-honouring friendships with women.
Those sorts of friendships are still possible for those who experience bisexual attractions (after all, none of us are attracted to everyone of the sex(es) we are attracted to!), but there’s also the possibility of more difficulties arising from attraction. This is just one example of a unique challenge we need to become aware of, and we need to think about how best to support those for whom this challenge, and others, might be a reality.
Bisexuality is certainly something I have overlooked and underplayed. I think we would probably say the same here at Living Out as a whole. But I think becoming more aware of bisexuality is key for Christians and churches if we are going to reach those around us with the good news of the gospel and if we are going to love our brothers and sisters well. Let’s be those who seek to learn and seek to love.
- ‘Sexual Orientation, UK; 2023’, ONS. Accessed 19 August 2025. Recent surveys in the US have found similar results. See Jeffrey M. Jones, ‘LGBTQ+ Identification in U.S. Rises to 9.3%’, Gallup and Kristen Rogers, ‘More Americans identify as LGBTQ+ than ever before, poll finds’, CNN.
- We have various resources exploring this further. For example, Andrew Bunt, ‘Should Christians Use the Concept of ‘Sexual Orientation’?’, The Living Out Team, ‘Should I Call Myself Gay? (Questions No One Wants To Answer #2)’, and Andrew Bunt, ‘Is My Sexuality Who I Am?’.
