Rachel Gilson, Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World: Discipling Our Kids With Jesus’ Truth and Love (The Good Book Company, 2024)
‘Where do babies come from?’ ‘Why does my friend have two mums but I only have one?’ ‘Why is uncle Jack dressing like a woman?’ How would you feel if your child asked you one of these questions? My hunch is that many parents would feel pretty panicked. Often it’s the topics of sex, sexuality and gender that Christian parents feel most ill-equipped to talk to their children about, and yet, increasingly, they’re topics that are unavoidable. Many children will ask questions about them, and even those who don’t still need to be discipled on these topics. That’s why parents need books like Parenting Without Panic.
Wisdom and practical tips
Rachel Gilson has written a short (just over 100 pages) book, packed full of wisdom and practical tips for parents. She starts by presenting ‘God’s Positive Vision’ for bodies, singleness and sex, rightly noting that children don’t just need lots of ‘No’, they first need the big ‘Yes’ that makes sense of the noes:
‘I believe that if we grow more competent in expressing God’s positive vision for sexuality to our children—if they have a chance to see what God is for, and only with this “Yes” in place to hear what God is against—then they will have a much better shot at experiencing and expressing the Bible’s vision with grace and truth’ (p.17).
With this foundation in place, Rachel moves to reflect on how parents can talk about sex in helpful, age-appropriate ways with even their youngest children (‘Sex Talk’). She helps us see both why parents must have these conversations and also offers some guidance on the how, providing really helpful approaches and language that parents can use.
The following chapter (‘The Impact of the Fall’) considers the impact of the Fall and the need to help children have an understanding of this important reality if they are going to be able to start thinking Christianly about various aspects of the sexuality and gender conversation. Rachel shows how a basic understanding of the concepts of the Fall and brokenness can help our conversations about transgender identities, disorders of sexual development, and same-sex attraction.
The chapter ‘Tools for LGBT+ Conversations’ does exactly what the title suggests, providing really helpful tools for conversations about sexuality and gender with both young and older children. ‘Fear Not’ reflects on some of the fears we might have, for ourselves and our children, as we live in an LGBT affirming world. Rachel draws on biblical principles to bring comfort and encouragement. The final chapter (‘In the Family’) will be a particular blessing to the many parents who find that LGBT matters become a reality in their own family context.
A book that embodies its message
There is so much to be praised about Rachel’s book. It’s brief while still providing lots of insight and practical tools – exactly what busy parents need. It’s full of stories and examples that are not only engaging (and sometimes amusing) but show that the wisdom Rachel is sharing has been drawn from her own experience and that of other parents she knows. It’s also firmly rooted in Scripture and saturated with the gospel.
But perhaps what I loved most about this book is the way that it embodied the message of its title. Rachel talks in such a calm, relaxed, down-to-earth way about engaging children on these topics that I could almost imagine panicked parents being calmed and comforted as they read. Rachel shows that what many parents fear most can not only be handled well but can become a wonderful opportunity to disciple our children and point them to Jesus.
This is a book I want to give to all my friends who are parenting children so that they can parent without panic and disciple their kids with Jesus’ truth and love. If you’re a parent wanting to do the same, this is a book for you.
